I know it's been a while, but I have an excuse!

I found out I am pregnant on the 20th of October. I was waiting to make the announcement to friends and family, so I couldn't exactly write about it in my blog. Being pregnant with a 3 year-old to chase after has completely wiped me out and I haven't had much energy to get around to doing this. Terrible, because I have so much that I want to write down and remember. I am going to make an earnest effort to keep up on my journaling - both here and in my handwritten one.

Aaron and I had casually decided that the fall would be a good time to start trying to conceive, we were anticipating his graduation from nursing school and looking forward to some big positive changes in our lives. I was a little surprised, even after we had planned this, to see the two pink lines on the HPT. I hadn't let DH know that I suspected I was pregnant, so when I gave him a gift bag with the test and a card announcing our impending arrival he was surprised. We decided to wait until Christmas to make the announcement to our family and friends, but I did share the news with my sister. I have had a relatively uneventful first trimester - the fatigue has been horrible though!

I left with Maddie, my mom and my sister for Phoenix, AZ on November 18th. We were going to spend a week with my grandma for Thanksgiving. It was a fun trip and I really enjoyed the extra time with Maddie, my mom and my sister. My grandma was immediately stricken with Maddie's spirit and personality and she enjoyed our visit. I did have a hard time hiding the fatigue and food aversions from my mom and knew that she suspected I was pregnant but never really came out and asked me.

My first prenatal appointment was on Friday, December 2. Aaron was unable to go with me because he'd worked a 12 hour night shift on Thursday night. I waited, and waited, and waited to be called back to the ultrasound room. My doctor has great bedside manner and really takes his time to talk and address concerns, etc. but it leaves the waiting room full. It was actually 2 hours from the time my appointment was supposed to start that I finally saw him. Dr. Barton does an ultrasound at the first appointment to check for the heart beat and allow you your first glance at the life growing inside. I remember that moment so well the last time around, when I first saw Maddie. We talked for a few minutes, he asked me what was going on in our lives and how Maddie was doing. Then it was time to see the baby. He applied the gel and moved the wand around for a minute and said "Let me make sure I'm not seeing what I think I'm seeing." At this point I thought for sure that there was no heartbeat, I was preparing myself to hear that. He then said "You have one at home?" "Yes. I was absolutely shocked to hear the next thing he said, "What do you think about three?" "SERIOUSLY!?!?!?" To be honest, I was far more prepared to hear that there was no baby at all. I looked at the screen and it was plainly obvious that there were two babies. He helped me see a heartbeat and then I was delighted (but still in shock) to see the other one moving around quite a bit. He briefly went over some of the potential problems and complications, mentioning pre-term labor, c-section, etc. He said he'd see me again in 4 weeks. I walked out to the lab and the lab tech was the first one I shared the news with. My lab tech looked like he could be Santa Claus, with a personality to match it. He just giggled and chuckled. My shock had made my veins disappear and it was an unusually hard draw. Once that was done I went to the car to drive back to work, and I remember just saying over and over "Wow, what are we going to do?!?"

I made a quick stop by the house and woke Aaron up and gave him the ultrasound pictures. He looked at it for a minute and sat straight up in bed and said "This isn't supposed to happen, it's supposed to skip a generation!" Aaron is an identical twin. I told him it was clear as day and he agreed. We talked for a few minutes about how this will change a few things - namely my employment status. The cost of three kids in daycare with two of them being newborns is just not something I'm willing to pay. I have longed to be a stay-at-home-mom and it looks like the opportunity has presented itself. I am looking forward to it!

We decided we couldn't hold this much of a surprise in for 3 more weeks and went to share the news with our families. Everyone is ecstatic and amazed! Maddie had actually told me while we were in Phoenix that when I have a baby she will get a sister AND a brother. She might be right! She has noticed my stomach is growing and laughs when she says "There's some babies in there!"

My mind has been racing with all of the possibilities and I've been reading and asking questions of friends who have had multiples. I am going to my next appointment prepared with a list of questions for my doctor. The hard part for me is not having much control over the next 7 months...but I am also realizing I will have little control over the rest of my life! I am hoping to be able to work through April so that we can really get our debt down to almost zero (other than student loans).

The last several days I have felt that light fluttering and I am again amazed at the miracle of new life. I am anxious for my next appointment on the 30th where I will be able to hear their heartbeats.

Aaron gave me a Priesthood blessing on Sunday night that was jsut what I needed. I have been praying for peace of mind and heart knowing how much of a change this is going to mean for our family. I really do love and want these babies, but I was concerned at how apprehensive I was feeling. I am sure it's a normal emotion and reaction under the circumstances, but I wanted to find the excitement and joy that I had when I was pregnant with Maddie. I had talked about it several times with Aaron and the blessing he gave me Sunday was really comforting and brought me a lot of peace.

We are just full of exciting, big life changing news! Aaron finished his finals on Tuesday and he has done so well. He graduates tonight. I am so proud of him. He has worked so hard and his determination to do this has really amazed me. It has not been an easy journey for any of us but we made it - of course, he gets most of the credit!