WHOA!

I finally have a minute to take a breath. It has been crazy! Just a quick rundown of my schedule last week:

Monday: 12 hour day shift at the NICU
Tuesday: Exam #2 for OB, 2 hour class
Wednesday: Preload (gathering information on my patient) and work on my first careplan for med/surg. Ick.
Thursday: Med/Surg clinical from 6:45-5:00 (which means I left my house at 5:45). Turn in first part of careplan.
Friday: Final OB clinical.
Saturday: Family Halloween party, sod laying at our house (which I didn't participate in, but thanks to everyone that did!), finished second part of careplan and made revisions to the first part.
Sunday: Church, study for med/surg test
Monday: Med/surg exam #4 (didn't go so well, but I'm still okay overall in that class) and turned in finalized careplan. 3 hour class.

Today I am just taking the day off. I do have a small paper to write, but it shouldn't take more than 30 minutes. I went to Maddie's class this morning to read to them during their read-a-thon. I also went visiting teaching and cleaned up downstairs while the twins pretended to take a nap. After school I had a couple of Maddie's friends over to decorate sugar cookies (that I made last weekend and froze). The kids had a lot of fun with that. I then took the girls to McDonald's for Happy Meals because I forgot that when I use the self-clean feature of my oven it needs an hour to cool down before it will let me unlock it - so the lasagna couldn't be baked. Once I get the kids to bed I'll write my paper and then spend a large portion of the night folding laundry and picking up my room. Some day off, I know, but it feels good to get stuff done that I just don't have time to do lately.

I have to give kudos to Aaron. The poor guy got pink eye and was sent home from work on Saturday the 18th. It took several days to clear up and they gave him a medical release through the 23rd. Because of his schedule, today's his first day back. I think it was by divine intervention that he ended up home all of last week. It definitely took some stress off of me to have him home without having to worry about getting the girls to a sitter and what was for dinner and everything like that. He has been so incredibly helpful. I'm a lucky girl!

Tomorrow I have to go preload and do another careplan. Not my favorite thing to do. Tomorrow night our ward is having a "Trunk-or-treat." Thursday is another clinical. Friday we will be busy with Halloween stuff, there's a parade at Maddie's school and then I'm helping with her class party. We are also going to a party that night with some friends. Saturday and Sunday Aaron is working, but my sister called me yesterday and ordered that I not ask her any questions but that she's coming to pick me up at 10:00. I don't know what the plan for the girls is but I'm assuming she has something planned for my birthday (it's on Sunday). I'm hoping to fit in a little bit of downtime with my DVR on Sunday since I don't have any exams next week. What an exciting way to turn 30. :) Actually, the idea of a quiet house with a few hours lounging on the couch sounds great right now!

Playing hooky

I had a med/surg test Monday morning. Our tests are on computers in a testing center. We have two hours to complete the multiple choice tests. In the nursing program I've had tests with as few as 40 questions and as many as 80. I usually finish taking the tests in 30 minutes or less. Unfortunately our test block is from 8a-10a and my class doesn't start until Noon. Yesterday I decided to skip my class and take care of some errands I needed to run and go home for some family time. It wasn't really skipping out on lecture material because our instructor has her lectures available online as narrated Power Points - so I'll catch up on the material later this week. It felt great to "find" some extra time I don't usually have! I ran my errands without the kids, and no one was expecting me home so I really had some free time. I stopped and picked up takeout for Aaron and I for lunch.

We decided to take the kids to see Beverly Hills Chihuahua after we picked Maddie up from school. Actually, Aaron went to see Eagle Eye while I took the girls to see "chichiwawa" (that's what Cami and Brie call it). The girls did really well until Brie tried to climb from the seat on my left to the seat on my right and she fell into the armrest, giving herself a nice little goose egg on her forehead. I had to get all of the girls out of the theater while trying to keep Brie quiet. Not an easy task, Cami was GLUED to what was going on in the movie. I talked to the manager and got rainchecks so that we can try again another day. I texted Aaron to let him know what happened and told him to stay in his movie and we'd meet up when it was over. Unfortunately I left my purse at home since Aaron had his wallet, or I would have taken the girls to get a treat at the bakery next to the theater. Instead I let them play around a little fountain and then we walked to Target to look at Halloween stuff and then stopped in the book section. It worked out fine, Aaron met us when his movie was over.

We stopped at Artic Circle for Square Pumpkin dinners (ick) and the girls were asleep by 7:30. I decided to put a second coat of paint up on the accent wall in our family room. It took me about an hour and a half. After I was done I decided to head to bed. It was nice to have a day where I focused on something other than school. It has been kind of all-encompassing lately. I appreciated the little break and almost feel like I am ready to tackle the next several weeks ahead. My next "break" will be Halloween weekend. We don't have any tests that next week and my birthday is on the 2nd. I'm so looking forward to that weekend if for no other reason than that I won't have a test looming over my head. :)

"Keep moving forward"

While desperately trying to keep the kids calm and quiet this morning, I watched Meet the Robinson's with them while in a graveyard hangover state. There is quote by Walt Disney at the end right before the credits start:

We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we're curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.

While I really like that quote as a whole, I think am going to use the "keep moving forward" part as my new motto. I really feel like I am barely functioning in so many aspects of my life. I have so much going on that I can't give any of it 100%. Whether it's my role as a wife, a mom, a student, a daughter, a sister, a member of my faith, a friend, an employee. It's all so overwhelming. I'm managing, and I am not really feeling like I just can't do it, but it's definitely a challenge right now. This semester is so much different from last semester! I am learning a lot, and I do enjoy it, but it's requiring a lot more brain power. Yikes.

I am so grateful for Aaron - he is really helping me out a lot. I'm not home much when he's off, and I know that's hard for him. The girls miss me when I'm gone, but they are handling everything really well I think. Some day they might even appreciate what I'm doing now. I hope so, anyways. Holding onto that hope helps ease some of the guilt I feel when I realize I didn't get something put together for Maddie's show-and-tell or I missed something funny that the twins did. My standards for a clean house have really gone out the window - so don't just drop by unless you're prepared for a mini-disaster area. ;)

9 weeks until Christmas break! Yay! I am so looking forward to it, and I'm really glad that we are able to go on a family vacation when the semester is over. Everyone in my little family is sacrificing something to allow me to get through school and they all deserve some time at the happiest place on earth.

How about that...I just started and ended this post with a reference to Walt Disney's great vision and accomplishments.

Guessing Game

1. Shes the Best Mom EVEr.
2. Shes thE coolIst MOM EVER.
3. She Loves DISneYLand.
4. She LoVeS to Play wIth Maddie.
5. She Loves Dad to.
6. She Loves Har faMLe.
7. She Lovs hAr frends to.

Maddie gave this to me the other night. I was supposed to guess who it was. If I can figure out how to continue being this mom and her opinion of me stays the same, I will be one very lucky girl.

I love you, Maddie.

1. She's thoughtful.
2. She's helpful.
3. She's a good friend.
4. She loves her family.
5. She's a great big sister.
6. She's a hard worker.
7. She is the coolest 6 year-old I know.

My buddies

The twins have been obsessed with panda bears lately. It all started several weeks ago when Cami told Aaron "I'm not Cami, I Ku Fu Panda!" (Kung Fu Panda is the first and only movie they've seen in the theater - I guess it made a lasting impression). They frequently do "karate chops" and say "hi-ya!" Oh, and then there's the absolute delight that they had the day we picked up Panda Express take-out. Did you know there's a baby panda bear on the boxes? Or that maybe panda bears live in the mountains by our house? Neither did I. :) It only seemed appropriate to get them Panda costumes this year for Halloween. They arrived today and the girls were SO excited. You can see it on their faces. I love it!

It is getting easier to take them out when I have to run errands. I no longer grimace at the thought. :) Yesterday we stopped at Target. They climbed out of their seats, held my hands as soon as they got out of the van and walked with me all the way up to the store. They willingly got into the cart and sat down the whole time we were in the store. When we were done shopping, they climbed into the van, got in their carseats and buckled the top buckle. We went to the grocery store today and had a similar experience. The twins *love* to go places. I am grateful that it has become uneventful and even enjoyable lately.

We are going to Disneyland in December. I am becoming more optimistic about the experience with two 2 year-olds in tow.

Just thought I'd let you all know

I'm still surviving. :)

I have not completely lost my mind and I don't feel like I'm drowning...yet.

I don't have time for much of an update. I will shoot for one later this week.

No defecit

That's my goal. Wait, that makes it sound like I'm an under-achiever. I'm really not. I do have higher expectations of myself, but when all is said and done, the important thing is that I pass my classes. :) So far, so good. I had my first exam in med/surg yesterday and my first exam in pediatric nursing today. I passed them both. I actually nearly aced my peds test. Med/surg was rough! They still have to PAR our exams, so my scores might go up a bit. I'm hoping for a few percentage points in med/surg just to give me a bit more of a buffer.

Life is keeping my busy!!! My calendar is full. I had an exam yesterday, one today, a careplan and assessment due on Thursday when I get to my clinical, a SNA meeting tomorrow, my first shift at the U is on Friday night. I have another med/surg exam on Monday. I also have two careplans to memorize for OB that I need to pass off, a few videos to watch in the library at school and two service learning projects to help coordinate and do.

Last night about dinner time Maddie had a horrible croupy coughing fit and we decided she needed some medication. I packed up my peds book and notes and we headed to the ER while Aaron stayed home with the twins. I ended up not having time to look at my notes much, but it turned out okay. The doctor gave her an oral steroid and sent us home with two more doses. I'm glad we went, the night was quiet and she seems much better today.

The girls are so much fun. The other day Cami came up to Aaron and very seriously said "I not Cami, I Ku Fu Panda!" The twins love panda bears. We picked up takeout from Panda Express the other day and they were so excited about the pictures on the bag and the boxes. We went to the fair on Saturday and they loved the animals. Church on Sunday was actually pretty uneventful - I took crayons and paper and the three girls used their chairs as a desk and colored quietly throughout most of Sacrament Meeting. Both Brie and Cami went to nursery without any fuss and that was so nice! Maddie's been home sick the last two days, I'm hoping she'll be well enough to go tomorrow. She's getting a little stir-crazy.

Aaron has been great with the girls and patient with me as I get back into the school groove. We're taking it a day at a time and we're really looking forward to the semester being over but we're all managing okay! Oh - and we've booked a trip to Disneyland for a week in December. That will be great! Less than 3 months to go!!!

What I'm doing

Tomorrow is my first clinical at PCMC. It will be a long day. They have asked us to take Trax in because the parking is bad for patients' families (I actually remember this from when the twins were in the NICU). I'm fine with it, it will give me some extra study time. However, I also need to go to the U to have my TB test read and get my badge so that I'm officially ready for my first shift next week. My clinical doesn't start until 9 so I have time to do this stuff beforehand, but it means I'll have to leave my house at 6:15 to make sure I get to the hospital on time. My clinical goes until 8, then it's Trax to the park and ride lot and then the drive home. I'm not planning on getting home until 9:30 or later. Yikes. My peds rotation is only three weeks long so it won't be too bad. I start my OB clinicals at the end of September, Med/Surg clinicals start at the end of October and go through December 4th. The days won't be quite as long for those though.

Friday I will be studying during the day and then that night I'm meeting up with a big group of ladies who are lucky enough to be enjoying a retreat in Heber for the next 4 days. I knew I couldn't swing it with my upcoming exams, but I do want to get a chance to see some friends I haven't seen in awhile and meet some of the ladies from our group that I haven't met yet. We're going to dinner at the Snake Creek Grill and I'm really excited about that.

Saturday we are planning on taking the girls to the state fair. Aaron also has a co-worker getting married that day so he wants to go to the reception on Saturday night. Sunday we'll go to church and I'll be studying every chance I can over the weekend for my tests on Monday and Tuesday. Monday is my first med/surg exam (yikes) and Tuesday is my first pediatric nursing exam. I have been studying for 2-3 hours a night almost every night for the last two weeks, I hope that I'm ready enough by Monday to pass the test. That's all I'm asking for!!!

Making progress

I have blogged about the twins' pooptastrophes before. The most recent one was about 3 weeks ago. Aaron was home, I had put the twins down for a nap. I smelled something, we went to check on them and found another "art project." Aaron quickly took them into the bathroom and scolded them, scrubbed them off in the tub and then put them in the shower (their very first shower). I kind of stayed out of the way because, well, none of my disciplinary tactics had worked on preventing future poop finger-painting events. I was working on cleaning up the mess in their room instead.

I realized the other day that we hadn't had a mess of disastrous proportions since that day. And then, it happened. Last night, Cami and Brie came out of their room holding hands telling us that they needed a diaper change. Indeed they did. I gave them all kinds of positive reinforcement for coming to tell me that they needed a diaper change.

Tonight, it happened again. They came out together and asked for a diaper change. Now, it just appears that I need to figure out how to get them to poop before I put them to bed for the night. :) Oh, and potty training...is an adventure I'm just not quite ready for. We're actually planning a trip to Disneyland in December and I just cringe at the thought of having two mostly potty-trained 2-year-olds in lines with that urgent need to go potty. I also didn't do potty training with Maddie until a month before her third birthday and it went incredibly smooth. Since the twins are just 2 years and 3+ months, I'm not in a hurry just yet. (Other than that a case of diapers has gone up from $32.99 to $42.79 in the last several months!!!)

Study break

Choose a singer/band/group - Answer using ONLY titles of songs by that singer/band/group. I chose Maroon 5.

1. Are you male or female? Woman

2. Describe yourself. Tangled

3. What do people feel when they're around you? She Will Be Loved

4. How would you describe your previous relationship? If I Never See Your Face Again

5. Describe your current relationship. This Love

6. Where would/do you want to be now? Happy Xmas (this semester will be over...and that will be nice!)

7. How do you feel about love? The Sun

8. What's your life like? Not Falling Apart

9. What would you ask for if you had only one wish? Figure It Out

10. Say something wise. Nothing Lasts Forever

Play if you want! :)

Big girl beds

We bought twins mattresses for the twins yesterday. While the girls were eating dinner, Aaron went upstairs to take their cribs apart. I was talking up their "big girl beds." I asked Cami and Brie if we should put their princess sheets on their new beds so they can go to sleep. Cami smiled really big and said "and JUMP?!?!?" Too funny. When I took them upstairs to put them to bed Cami said "Oh my goodness Dad! YOU'RE BREAKING THE BEDS!" She was a little worried about the cribs. :)

There was a lot of jumping before they settled down for the night, but it went well. We just put the mattresses on the floor so they can adjust to the new space of their bed without falling too far. They LOVE their Disney Princess sheets. I'm glad the transition went to smoothly.

Maddie's in Idaho this weekend with my parents. My cousin, Mackenzie, is being baptized today and they went up for that. She left yesterday afternoon and will be home tomorrow. I am sure she's having a great time, they were going to go swimming, see the water falls, and she's having a sleep-over with Mackenzie tonight.

Week two? Check.

I'm having a hard time finding my groove this semester. I'm two weeks into it. I partly blame the disorganized chaos that the instructors created...I do love the program at my school and overall my experience has been great. Unfortunately there are times when I find myself questioning why this is such a mess when they have been doing this for years! There has been confusion about schedules, tests, clinicals, issues with my financial aid...I could go on. I think everything is clear now.

The girls are struggling with my return to school. The other day when I went downstairs for breakfast in my scrubs, Cami said "You no go bye-bye, you stay home!" :( They are doing a bit better this week - there were no tears or objections this morning when I left them home with Aaron. Maddie said tonight at dinner that she didn't want me to be a nurse because she doesn't like me gone. It breaks my heart a little. I do know without a doubt that this is what I'm supposed to be doing right now though, and I feel like we are so blessed to have a schedule that allows for one of us to be home with the kids 95% of the time.

We had a nice weekend. We went to Swiss Days in Heber with the girls on Saturday. It was a bit of an adventure with the girls in the heat, but we had fun. We finished it up with a trip to Olive Garden for a late lunch/early dinner - the girls did pretty well there. There's always a 50/50 chance that it will be a nightmare or a somewhat enjoyable experience. Sunday evening after church we went to my aunt and uncle's house for a BBQ with my mom's family and finished the evening up at Aaron's grandma's house for cake and ice cream for Maddie and Grandma Nina's birthdays. Aaron worked yesterday so I stayed home with the girls and got caught up on some homework and housework.

Maddie is doing so well in the first grade! She got 100% on her first spelling test last Friday. She loves school. Cami and Brie are asking to go to school with her, it's cute. Brie has turned into a little hall monitor lately, she is constantly giving me the 411 on who is doing what and why so-and-so should be in trouble or is sad or whatever. Cami is constantly trying to make us laugh. She is a funny kid and laughs at herself frequently! It's hard not to join in. :)

First week down

It's kind of screwy because the semester started last Wednesday, but my lectures are on Mondays and Tuesdays. I did have lab last week and then this week is full of skills practice, class, orientation and skills pass-offs.

I would like to say I feel more grounded and prepared for what lies ahead now that the first week is over, but I don't. I am fairly certain the majority of my classmates feel the same way! I still feel aimless and like I'm wandering around in the dark with no direction. I know I should be taking time do some kind of studying or working on a project, but it's hard to know what. It's very frustrating! I'm hoping it gets better, or this semester is going to involve a lot of guess work!

On another note, today was the first day that Cami and Brie went to the sitter's house. I told them while we were getting ready this morning that they were going to Amanda's house to play with Sarah. When I got them out of the car, Cami walked right up to the door (they'd never been there before). The only anxiety came when they met the dog, Penelope (very cute, but a dog none-the-less, and the twins aren't sure what to think about dogs). Once the dog was out of the way, they settled right in and didn't fuss at all when I was ready to go. They both gave me a hug and a kiss and waved as I walked out the door. No tears!!! I was prepared for some drama, and there wasn't any. I was very relieved. When I picked them up, they were more interested in the swingset/playhouse and trampoline than they were in my arrival. I'd say the day was a success!

Tonight I worked on a poster about Maddie for her class at school. She's the VIP this week. We went through a bunch of pictures and she picked the ones she wanted on the poster. She gave me a list of her favorite things and I wrote them out on the poster. She's really happy with it. I am going into her class with her in the morning to talk about her for a few minutes.

Prayers for Collin

I've known a group of women for nearly 7 years. I've only met three of them, but I believe there are about 70 in our group. We all went through our pregnancies together at the same time with our "Auggies." They've been a great source of friendship, advice, encouragement and support over the years. We started out as an expecting club on iVillage and moved to our own private message board several years ago. We've watched our kids grow from the first ultrasound images, through the developmental milestones, to the first day of Kindergarten and now First grade for many of them.

Last fall one of the kids was diagnosed with Neuromyelitis Optica. There are no words to describe the suffering he has gone through. His parents were recently told that he is terminal and they don't know how long he has left. I cannot imagine the heartache and pain and sorrow that they must be experiencing. I have never met Collin or his mom, but I have cried for them and with them.

This has all reminded me to enjoy my job as a mom. To get through the "bad days" with more patience, more laughter, more love. Please keep Collin and his family in your prayers. I know they will be felt. If you would like to read more about Collin and his story, you can visit his website.

A new opportunity

The University has a program for nursing students. It's an intern position that allows you additional clinical and professional experience as you work with a preceptor. They hire them in most of the units at the hospital. I applied early this summer and didn't hear anything for almost 2 months. I met with a clinical staff educator who basically screened me and got a feel for where my interests are. They didn't have many openings at the time and she told me she'd forward my information on to a few departments. I only heard back from the NICU. I interviewed with them last week. I didn't expect to get it, but appreciated the experience to interview with two nurse managers and three RNs - it gave me an idea of how to prepare for future interviews when I'm done with school.

Yesterday my phone rang and I recognized the prefix on my cell phone. I could not believe it! I was expecting a polite rejection letter sometime this week (I've interviewed at the U before and not been hired). I answered and it was the nurse manager calling to offer me the position.

I am thrilled for the opportunity. It's a little intimidating, but they start NSI's with the babies who are just working on feeding and growing and work you up to the more critical patients over time. Once I graduate, I need to work at the U for two years. If I like the NICU (and that's the hope for the department) then I am hired on there full-time. If I decide I don't like the NICU, I will just need to pick another unit to work at.

It will be busy this semester but I only need to work 12 hours a week. The money is *okay* but I am most excited about the opportunity to apply the skills I'm learning in school. I attend orientation in about 2 1/2 weeks and then I'll start working in the unit.

Oh, and in case you're not keeping track like I am, school starts TOMORROW.

Maddie's in first grade!

I can't believe it. Here's a picture from her first day.



She's happy because she can play on the big-kid playground, her friend from kindy is in her class and she gets to eat lunch at school. It's such a long day but she did really well today. I do think she's ready for bed, though!

Just for comparison, here's her pic from her first day of Kindergarten last year.

A top ten list, of sorts

A compilation of things I have heard, been told, witnessed and discovered over the last week or two.

10. "Mom, the babies are dipping chicken nuggets into ice cream on the living room floor."
9. Finding poop smeared on a bedroom window. Hi, neighbors.
8. While cleaning up said poop mess, your troublesome 2-year-olds get into the freezer and bite their way into otter pops. On the family room floor. Did I mention they were red?
7. The twins jumping back into the bathtub right after I had finished drying them off and dressed them.
6. Cami and Brie hiding under the air hockey table eating fist-full portions of creal from a brand new bag of Marshmallow Mateys.
5. Brie running to Maddie for comfort and some cuddle time.
4. Brie coming to me with a blanket saying "Want cuddle, Mama!"
3. Brie: "I ya you Cami, I ya you Mannie"
2. Cami: "I luf you, Mama."
1. All three girls dancing, singing and laughing together when they thought no one was watching.

And a bonus
Cami: "Want hug!"

Nostalgia

Last weekend I went to a family wedding reception with Maddie, my parents and my sister. We decided to grab a bite to eat at Hires. While we were there we ran into some friends from the ward I grew up in. I consider myself incredibly blessed to have grown up in the T-ville 20th ward. One of the guys I ran into lived across the street from us and we talked about the fun times we had as kids/teenagers. It brought back a lot of good memories.

We moved into the neighborhood when I was 8 years old. Almost right away I became friends with Amy, who is and will always be my BFF. :) We had a few other girlfriends we hung out with but I haven't kept in touch with them like I have with her. When we became Young Women at 12 years old we were included in a very large, tight-knit group of youth. My favorite memories of my teenage years involve Girls Camp and Youth Conference and all of our other activities. We were blessed with some inspired leaders whom I still look up to that really helped me become who I am today. Aaron also grew up in the same ward. It is so fun to share some of the same memories with him. Our closest friends, family really, are also from the 20th ward. They have been there in good times and bad and I don't see that ever changing.

One of the biggest factors we considered in our home purchase was a community with lots of children our girls' age. We have definitely found that and I hope that they will be able to have similar experiences as they grow up here. It has made all the difference in my life. As I was driving through Mom and Dad's neighborhood today I thought about all of the people who have touched my life. Many of them have moved on, some have passed away, some of them I will very likely not see again in this lifetime. I know some of them may happen to find my blog and I just wanted to say thanks. :)

Karma Chameleon

Maddie loves to sing this song with Boogie on the Wii. She has the words down and is now working on the tune. :) You can't see her very well, she's crouched down on the couch and she doesn't know I'm taping her performance.

Sleepy

Last night was one of those nights that you just wish would never happen. Brie was fussing in her sleep from 9 until 11:30 - which is when she started full on crying. She didn't settle down on her own so I got her up and snuggled with her for a bit. I put her back to bed at midnight and she seemed to be okay. At 12:30 she started crying again. I got her up and just brought her to bed with me. I hadn't slept yet. She didn't want to sleep, she wanted to play with my face and climb all over me. At 2:00 I wrestled her into a "sleeper hold" and she started crying again. Aaron was home by now and came upstairs to take her. She didn't want him and came back into our room crying. This time she went to sleep pretty quickly. At about 5:45 I woke up because of the sunshine in our room and noticed she was awake too. Nice. About 6:00 Aaron asked me where the Excedrin was. Brie now let go of any plans to go back to sleep. *yawn*

She never did take a nap today, not for my lack of trying! This is what happened at dinner time. Too funny.