A day at the zoo

We went to Hogle Zoo this morning followed by an afternoon at the park for the twins' birthday. It was a lot of fun! Here's some pics from our day.

Saturday, May 26, 2007

One year ago tonight...

I was sitting on the couch IM'ing a friend and timing contractions. They were coming every few minutes and didn't let up so I called Aaron at work. We decided that since this had happened for several nights in a row (they'd stop after an hour or so) that we'd go to L&D. I called my parents to have them meet us at the hospital and set my bags by the door. When Aaron got home we transferred Maddie to the car and headed to Cottonwood Hospital at about 11:45 p.m. I really did not think I'd be having my babies that night!

Cami and Brie are turning 1. What a year it has been! These girls have brought so much joy into our lives and we love them to pieces. Brie is quietly mischievious and always makes sure she has what she wants. Cami is always concerned about her sisters and more willing to snuggle. They are learning to walk and taking several quick steps at a time. Aaron says they look like Frankenstein when they walk. They both love to do things to get attention! We have so much fun with them.

It's not quite the 24th of May but Happy Birthday, Cami and Brie!!!

I finished my first Storybook

I decided to do a book for Maddie about her Grandma Pam. I had been trying to find something special to do for her with the pictures I had and I knew had found it when I learned about this company a few weeks ago.

If you want to check out my storybook go to the Heritage Makers website and click on "Project Gallery." From there you click on "Search the Project Gallery" and enter my project ID number which is 251808.

I chose to go with the basic Storybook template because it allowed me more freedom with text and picture layouts. I am excited to try the designer scrapbook options on one of my future projects!

Lacking

Patience
I guess we all lack patience in one way or another. I am generally a patient person. I am struggling with it right now though. First of all, I have a 4 year-old who talks. Constantly. She is not patient. We are both working on it.

Second, we turned in the contract for our house at the beginning of April. We were told we'd hear from the design center within 3-4 weeks. It's been about 7. I am not finding any comfort in the timeline they've given us.

This leads me to the other thing that I'm lacking that is driving me absolutely crazy.

Space
There's five of us in two bedrooms. No playroom, no family room to hide toys in. We are literally spilling out of the closets. No room looks tidy because there is no space to put anything. Once upon a time, I was a neat and tidy person. I want that person back. Here comes patience again...I can't wait to have closets, , a playroom, a garage; room to put things out so I can sort through them and actually do something with the piles.

****************************************************************
I took my sister down to show her the model that matches our floorplan. While we were there I checked out a new model home they've just finished. I didn't love the floorplan but the color scheme, cabinets and carpet were closer to what we'll be going with in our home. I was excited to see it put together. It helped me envision our home a little better.

I'm excited! I'm doing my best not to have a particular date/time of year in mind for our moving day...at the rate we're going it could be January. Still, it's closer than it's ever been, and we're happy!

Ten things

Since Mother's Day was on Sunday and I am so thankful for these adorable little girls that have given me the title of "Mom," here's a list of ten things that I love about being a mom right now.

1. Four chubby, dimpled hands that clap (along with smiling faces and chatter) when I enter the room.
2. Maddie telling me I'm her best friend multiple times a day.
3. Endless hugs, kisses and squeezes from all my girls.
4. Maddie sneaking into my bed to snuggle with me during the night.
5. Being able to stay home to take care of my girls.
6. Seeing the babies learn to steady themselves on their feet
7. Waking up to the sounds of my girls playing and laughing together.
8. Always having a shopping buddy.
9. Watching Maddie find a great sense of accomplishment when she learns something new.
10. Seeing the world through a child's eyes again.

We need to do that more often!

Aaron and I had a night away together for the first time in two years! It was great. We celebrated our anniversary last night at Castle Creek Inn, a nice bed and breakfast about 15 minutes from our home. It was great to have a night off of bedtime routines, waking up with the babies, etc. Aaron got me a beautiful strand of pearls with a matching bracelet set. Very nice and completely unexpected. From what I've been told the girls slept all night so we might be able to do this again sooner than 2 years from now.

We have a babysitter tomorrow afternoon for a few hours. The community we're moving to has a promotion going on and we wanted to check it out sans kids. We might hit Spiderman 3 while we're out. Seems like it's feast or famine as far as date nights are concerned!

Nine years and counting

It's our 9th wedding anniversary. It is somewhat hard to believe how fast the time has gone by. I also can't believe that what started out as a party of two is now a party of five! Our family is our greatest accomplishment.

Aaron's at work tonight so we're celebrating on Thursday evening. He's my bestfriend and we've gone through a lot together the past several years. I love him very much!

Not too soon, baboon!

Maddie had her "See you later alligator" program today for preschool graduation. Since she goes to the lab school associated with the college, their last day of preschool is next Thursday. The program was adorable! Lots of songs and cute little stories, with props of course! I have been so impressed with the faculty and the things Maddie has learned the last two years. I can't believe she's reached this milestone already.

I'm here

Friday I told my bestfriend that some days I just don't cut it as a mom. While I know that's not true, Friday was one of those days that I was very thankful for bedtime. Maddie had a supersized meltdown as we were leaving for an outing. I quickly cancelled the outing and dealt with a screaming, stomping, red faced fit instead. It was all over fairly quickly so we had dinner, I bathed the girls and sent them all to bed at 6:30. I was in bed by 8:30. Ay yi yi.

Yesterday morning my mom called to see if I had heard anything about a young woman I grew up with. She lived down the street from me. Her obituary was in the paper Saturday. She was in a car accident recently and died from complications because of it. She was 29 and left her husband and two young kids behind. It is so terribly sad.

Earlier this week I caught glimpses of the horrendous tragedy at Virginia Tech and I was reminded of so many other senseless events that have taken so many lives too soon.

It is easy for me to be overcome with sadness when I think of all the families that have to deal with the deaths of such young, vibrant people.

Cami is becoming more confident in her ability to stand on her own. She smiles when I see her practicing. Brie is working on being quietly mischevious and grins when she is caught. Maddie has learned how to write "Maddie loves Mommy" and proudly presents me with valentines throughout the day. I was holding Brie tonight as she settled down to sleep and I was overwhelmed with the love I have for my sweet girls. I will try to remember to enjoy the bad days just as much as the fabulous ones. Well, almost.

My parents are amazing

I am one lucky girl.

Two weeks ago I was in the middle of a stomach bug with all three girls and myself. Not fun at all. As you can imagine, the laundry associated with three little girls throwing up profusely is just obscene. After a late night sick session I had to strip Maddie's bed and get everything in the wash. I realized right then that the washing machine hadn't fully drained from the load I'd done earlier that night. I hoped that I'd get lucky and threw her bedding in anyways. I woke up the next morning to find I wasn't lucky at all. I called my dad because that's what I do when something isn't working right. He said he'd be by to look at it. I gathered up all of our laundry and spent a couple hours at the laundromat getting everything washed and folded. Dad came by and declared that the motor had died. What timing...in so many ways! Having just put earnest money down on the house, we didn't have any extra $$ for an appliance purchase. Everyone had stopped throwing up but the babies had a BAD case of the runs and laundry was accumulating so quickly! Saturday we left the house for a few hours and came home to a new washing machine - already installed. My parents decided a washing machine was a necessity for me and they took care of it. They're the best! I did 12 loads of laundry in 36 hours. You've probably never seen a girl happier about having a washing machine.

Tonight I called my dad to see if I could borrow their lawn mower because we couldn't figure out how to get the one here started. He stopped by to check it out and he had mowed most of the lawn before I realized he was here. He stopped only because it ran out of gas. He left for a minute to get more and came back to finish up. What a guy. :)

These are just two examples of the bazillion things my parents do for me. Thanks, Mom and Dad! I love you!

We got it!!!

We got the approval! I'm going down to meet with the builder's agent tomorrow afternoon to sign the contract.

Oh my goodness. This is unreal. We're so excited. And a little nauseous. :)

Hoping for new digs

The home ownership bug has bitten. We've gone through this before, but the timing has never felt right. Many opportunities have passed us by and we have really not done ourselves any favors by waiting. We've spent the last month or so browsing the MLS websites, checking out mortgage calculators, crunching numbers. Our options in the valley are limited, we really can't get what we want here. The prices are obscene. Yesterday we got in the car and drove South to check things out. We checked out several model homes and builders while we were out and about. We came upon one particular builder by accident, really, and walked into a model that just felt like it could be our home. I love it! We are really hoping this is it. We went through the pre-qualification process with a mortgage broker last night, he was really optimistic but isn't able to give us a confirmation until he talks to some lenders on Monday. If this does work out, we're anywhere from 6-12 months out from the home being done. They're finishing up one phase and starting on another, our home would be built in yet another phase. They're building like crazy in this area. I really feel like the timing is right. We'll be hoping and praying all weekend! :)

8 things about my trip to California

1. Mucinex is a lifesaver. I had a chest cold and sinus infection and felt horrible the day before we left. The antibiotics kicked in and Mucinex helped me feel almost 100%.
2. GPS systems in an unfamiliar area are a bad idea. "Where2" led us right into South Central L.A. and it was a little scary! (It's a good thing we were there at 9:30 in the morning and not 9:30 at night)
3. Pinkberry frozen yogurt is worth a bit of a drive.
4. My cousin and I still laugh and giggle like we did when we were teenagers. LOL.
5. To date, nothing I have done as a parent has made me feel as guilty as going to Disneyland without my Disney fanatic 4 year-old. :)
6. Going on the Tower of Terror with someone who is totally clueless about what it entails is a priceless experience.
7. I missed my girls (Aaron too) so much that I opted to drive home rather than stay an extra day or two in California. Standby airline tickets aren't a reliable way to travel.
8. Aaron did fairly well while I was gone. He admitted it wasn't as bad as he thought and they were all in one piece and happy when I got home.

Spring Fever

I am so ready for some sunshine! The weather has been pleasant the last few days. A little cool, but the sun has been out and I broke out my capris and tees. Yay! This morning I had to run out to the car and it was raining a little bit. I love spring rain. It makes everything feel so fresh and it brings so much promise of things to come. We have some daffodils blooming in the yard. MIL loved her flowers, it will be fun to see what pops up this year. I thought of her today as Maddie was enjoying the new colors popping up out of the dirt.

I am headed to Southern California next week for a couple of days with my cousin. I am so looking forward to the break from my normal routine. We are flying into Long Beach, staying in Anaheim. One day will be spent doing the Disney thing (of course!) and the other day we're up in the air about...maybe heading down to San Diego or checking out some of L.A. Jess and I have a great time together. We're two weeks apart and spent a weekend together every month when we were teeanagers(she lived a couple hours away). We travelled to Europe together when we were 15. This trip will be a lot of fun.

It will be interesting to see how Aaron handles the girls for two days on his own. This is a first! Lucky for him, the girls have started sleeping through the night the last little bit. They're on a good schedule so as long as he sticks to it things should go smoothly. We'll see how it goes!

Ignorance is bliss

Something I've noticed the last little while is that the twins prefer not to acknowledge that their "other half" is in existence. There are moments throughout the day where they look at each other and smile or play together quietly. However, most often they pretend the other one isn't around. They compete for my attention, they don't like to me to hold both of them at the same time, and they always want what the other one has - no matter what it is or if they had been ignoring that particular item all day. Because of this, I do love the moments when they take the time to enjoy each other. We were at church last week and they were both playing on the floor. Brie shrieked at Cami and smiled, Cami replied with a shriek and a smile. This went on for a minute or two, it was really cute. They do occassionally give each other kisses and pats. Now that they are crawling we often have a baby parade down the hallway - they like to explore together. They are protective of each other when other people intrude in their space. It is so fun to watch their relationship develop.

Maddie on caffeine

I took Maddie out for a couple hours yesterday. We went to get a leotard with a skirt attached. That is why she wanted to take dance, afterall, so that she could have a ballerina dress. I also took her to lunch. She picked Panda Express, specifically the orange chicken and fried rice plate. She knew this was what she was going to have before we left the house. Aaron wasn't feeling well and had spent most of the morning in bed trying to get rid of a horrible cold that's hanging out in our house.

We ordered lunch and she asked for rootbeer. When I got to the table with our drinks, we had the following conversation.

Maddie: "What did you get to drink?"
Me: "Diet Coke"
Maddie: "I can't have Coke."
Me: "No, do you know why you can't have Coke?"
Maddie: "No."

I went on to explain how Coke has caffeine in it and it makes little girls act crazy (and we don't need more crazy around here!). I told her adults like to drink it because it helps us wake up. I justified my Coke habits by telling her that I drink it to help me have energy to play all day.

Me: "Would I be a fun mom if I just stayed in bed all day?"
Maddie: "No!"

It was quiet for a minute and she said "Daddy should drink Coke."

Touché!

Sisters

I had to take the babies to the pediatrician for a sick visit yesterday afternoon. They were sitting side-by-side in their stroller. I took Brie out first for the doctor to check her over and Cami was okay until she saw the doctor use the otoscope to look in Brie's ears and mouth. She flipped out. She kept screaming at the doctor. Brie was unphased by what was going on, but Cami must have thought he was dong something to hurt her. She was very protective of her. When I buckled Brie back into the stroller Cami reached over and patted Brie's hand. It was so cute. Isn't it sweet how that bond is so strong already?

Eight months!

The girls are now 8 months and one day old. Incredible. They are doing so well. They're both scooting all over the place and pulling themselves up to a sitting position. They're quite proud of themselves! They are really starting to interract with each other and had several people laughing at church on Sunday because they were giving each other slobbery kisses all during Sunday School. Brie's first tooth broke through yesterday and she was one unhappy little girl. It was so out of character for her, she kept setting Cami off. It left me feeling overwhelmed and outnumbered! I'm sure that won't be the last time!!! She's back to her content happy self today so she must be feeling better.

Maddie is loving her dance class. She does very well, she enjoys it all but seems partial to the tumbling part of it. She's at least a head taller than every girl in her class, but I'm almost certain she's almost a year older than all of them too. She can move up to the next class in August when she turns 5. She loves preschool and she's so excited about Kindergarten this fall. Registration is just over a month away, I can't believe that we're almost there! She's just growing up too fast. I love spending time with her, she's a fun and spunky little girl and she adds so much light to my life.

Aaron's work schedule has changed a little bit and he's back to rotating weekends. He's really enjoyed having them off. We'll adjust to the new schedule, it just takes some time.

My back seems to be getting better. I'd say it's at about 75%. There are still days where I have a constant dull ache, but there are many days where it doesn't bother me except when I move the wrong way - and the pain usually disappears quickly.

I spent the afternoon having a long lunch with my friend Stacie and I haven't done any housework yet today...I better get going! I have more pictures to upload and I might get to that tonight.

Cami's scooting!

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Brie Giggles

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Cami Giggles

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100 things that make me happy

Every holiday season my mom challenges us to do something the following year. Thanksgiving 2005 she challenged us to make a list of 100 things that make us happy. It wasn't always on the top of my list of things to do, so it's somewhat sporadic. I thought I'd share it here.

Aaron
Maddie
Cami
Brie
Mom
Dad
Brandon
Chelsey
My marriage
Summer thunder storms
Peanut butter m&ms
Popcorn at the movies
Maddie saying "good morning"so happily when she wakes up
Baby smiles
Date nights
Quiet
Giggles
A good deal
Kisses from my girls
Ordering plzza
A clean house
Spring rain
Watching movies in bed
Gummy grins
Naps
Lazy days
Getting over strep
Bringing cami & brie home from the hospital
Snuggling with my girls
Maddie telling me i'm her bestfriend
Being home with my kids
Seeing maddie accomplish something and being proud of herself
Finding money in unexpected places
New tv season - no more reruns!
Good music
Supportive family
Lunch with girlfriends
Seeing other people happy
Central air
Finishing a big project
Conference Sunday
Dinner in the crockpot
Wireless internet
Tivo
Hearing Maddie sing
My ipod
Hearing from a friend
A new haircut and highlights
Late night chats with aaron
Seeing Amy happy
Making new friends
Watching the babies learn new tricks
New shoes
Being able to make other people smile
Parties with friends
Knowing someone has been thinking about me
Yummy smelling candles
Making a good meal
Grandpa
Living the gospel
Getting into bed at night
A new day
Finding a cute outfit
Sandal weather
Not having to cook dinner
Aaron passing the NCLEX
Seeing two baby girls at my ultrasound
Watching Maddie play with her sisters
Seeing the babies adore Maddie
Feeling appreciated
Hearing thank you
Spending time with extended family
Beautiful scenery
Chocolate
Going to the movies
Dinner out
Learning something new
New pillows
Being able to help someone
Seeing Maddie so excited about Christmas
IM'ing friends who live far away
Memories
The quiet snow brings
Spring mornings
Holiday parties
Michael Buble concert
Hot chocolate on a cold night
Famous Dave's bread pudding
Laughing with family and friends
Me time
My relationship with my sister
Losing all the weight I gained with my pregnancy
The twins growing off the charts
Electric blankets
Finding my inner strength
Spending time with my parents
Vacations
Finishing my pre-req's for nursing school
Getting all three girls to sleep at the same time
Oreo shakes
Long scenic drives

Goals

It's a new year so it's that time again. I actually have some things that I've been working on a little bit, but I need to hold myself accountable for them, so I decided to write them here.

1. My health. This includes diet, exercise, and emotional/mental. I started Weight Watchers on Tuesday. I've done it before and I like the program. It's going well so far. My ultimate goal is to lose between 61 and 66 pounds. I also need to get an exercise routine down. My neurologist has recommended water aerobics, I have an appt. to check out Golds Gym on Friday. Emotionally and mentally I am doing fine but I need to work on taking time for myself and finding ways to challenge my brain. I will most likely review my physiology and anatomy textbooks periodically since I'm on hold for the nursing program.

2. My family. I need to find ways to keep Maddie entertained and happy without relying so much on the television. This is easier when the weather is good...hurry up spring! I'm still feeling like a newby at being home full-time so I am constantly finding things that are working (and aren't) for us.

3. My marriage. It's not bad, just an ongoing project. That won't change, but there are some areas I know I can personally improve so I'll be working at them.

4. My faith. So many areas here to work on!

5. My house. I have set up a loose schedule for household chores. My biggest thing is keeping on top of the dishes and laundry. Those two things left undone for a day can cause a huge mess which seems to have a domino affect on the rest of the house.

I think that's it. LOL.

Getting the hang of this

Preschool started up again on today. Life is back on schedule after the holidays. I sent Aaron off to work and took Maddie to school, put the babies down for a nap when we got home. The house was quiet and I had time to do the stuff on my list. I have found it most helpful to make a list of the things that I want/need to get done the night before. I got out of the habit of doing it and I've been a big slacker lately. I guess that's mostly because of my back pain but I need to just deal with it and make myself get up and do things.

I got everything done on my list by 5:00, and it was a long list! My mom came over at 6:00 so that I could run to the store sans kids. That saved me so much time. It was a 10 minute errand (roundtrip) by myself, it would have been at least 30 minutes with the kids in tow. When I got back I fed the babies and then sat down for dinner with Maddie. All the kids were in bed by 8:00. How nice it is to have the laundry folded and put away before 10:00 at night!

Maddie started dance Monday. She has wanted to "ballet" for months. We promised her she could start once we moved, but everyone was getting ready for holiday performances when that happened. She was so excited to be there yesterday, she had a grin from ear to ear. It's an intro to ballet, jazz and tumbling for 3 and 4 year-olds. She spent most of the hour running laps around the girls who were practicing their leaps and skips, but she was sure ready to go to bed last night! It will be fun to see how this goes. As long as she enjoys it, it's a good thing.

The latest

It's just pain. It really is. I can deal with this. Lots of people do. My dad is the first person to come to mind. He has struggled with back problems since his early 20's. He is so upset that his bad back genes have been passed on to me. Dad, it's not your fault! I love you!

I found out last week that I have degenerative disc disease. The good news is that now that I know, there are things I can do to prevent future flare-ups. It doesn't do me any good right now. I'm currently on a prednisone pack, the doctor told me that it is effective in approximately 50% of his patients. If this doesn't work we will try the injections. If that doesn't work then I'll have to consider surgery. I am really hoping that the pills or the injections will take care of the problem. I'm on day 4 of the pills and haven't noticed a change, so we'll see how it goes. I have a follow-up on the 17th.

A New Year

I know it's just a difference between 11:59 p.m. and Midnight on one day, but it's so significant. 2006 was such a rollercoaster for me and my family. Full of life-changing events, mostly for the better. Many of my previous posts have already talked about this, so I'm not going to go into it again. I will say that I feel like I have grown a lot, learned a little about myself and done my best to support my husband and my daughters in the challenges we have faced. I think we are all stronger because of it.

There are random moments throughout the week that I look at my girls and think "WOW!" So much of my day is filled with the same diaper changing, feeding, soothing, cuddling, entertaining...it is easy to let the big picture fade a little. Tonight I was watching Cami and Brie roll around on the floor and had one of those moments. They were smiling at me and playing with each other and I realized how quickly they are turning into little people. They are so much fun (and so much work!) and we are loving it.

I had all the kids in bed for about 45 minutes until Cami decided she needed some one-on-one time with me. She is a horrible sleeper. I am fairly confident that if Cami would sleep all night Brie would follow suit - she usually wakes up only after Cami has. I am clueless about how to fix this. I own The Happiest Baby on the Block and I used a moderated Ferber technique to get Maddie to sleep when she was an infant. First problem is I can't find the book, and if I do find it, when would I read it? The other problem is that all three girls are sharing a room. Kind of hard to Ferberize without waking up the other two. I am sure I am setting the twins up for horrible sleeping habits and I am trying so hard to prevent that! Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

Oops, I got side-tracked. Cami was playing on the floor while I was working on a new menu and grocery list. She kept looking at herself in the mirror and she thought it was the funniest thing. She laughed and laughed. So cute!

For some reason it is really easy to get giggles out of Cami and Brie when they're in their highchairs after they've eaten some yummy (?) baby food. I'll get them started and Maddie will come running in from the living room to take over. She loves to make them laugh. Tonight Maddie offered to feed Cami for me while I put dinner together and I took her up on it. That was a mess! I should have taken pictures. Eventually she managed to get most of the food in Cami's mouth. She was so proud of herself. She loves being the big sister and she really shines when she's doing things to help them (and me) out. It's great!

Take a look!

I opened a dropshots account and hope to update pictures fairly regularly. Check it out here! I am LOVING my new camera. :)

The day after - an update on a few things

I'd post pictures of our Christmas, but our house is a gift disaster right now. The amount of empty boxes and garbage bags full of wrapping paper is unreal. We'll have to make a trip to the dump...literally. That was the nice thing about living in an apartment, having a dumpster that was emptied several times a week. We're hosting the New Year's Eve party this year so I guess I better get busy!

Now that Christmas is over I can focus on some things that haven't had top priority on my blog. I had an MRI last Thursday and the results came back on Friday. I have three herniated discs; L4, L5 and S1. Not good. I called today to schedule an appointment with a specialist and I'm a little disenchanted with the whole thing. I don't want surgery until every other possible conservative treatment is tried. The lady who took my call was telling me surgery would be necessary (who was she, anyways...a receptionist? Give me a break!). I know that she has probably been instructed to say some things, but she does not have a med school background, or I don't think she would be answering the phone to schedule my appointment. The place I called came highly recommended, too. I just feel a little lost about the whole thing. I have an appointment there next Tuesday. I am also calling two other places tomorrow, it is something worth getting a few different opinions on. I want things fixed, but surgery just seems next to impossible. Recovering while taking care of my girls would just be a nightmare, I am sure!

I received some awesome Christmas gifts! I think some of my friends and family must be reading my blog. Thanks Mom and Chels for the awesome package at the spa. I also got a gift certificate to the same spa from Aaron and my brother-in-law. Yay...some alone time - with pampering included! Aaron got me a new digital camera with lots of fun features that I have no idea how to use. I'll figure it out. I also got an external hard drive for all of our media files, Adobe Photoshop Elements 5, a few gift certificates to the movie theatre and local restaurants we like. Aaron had to work yesterday and my mom offered to watch the babies while I took Maddie home for a nap. That was great! We slept for 2 1/2 hours. Maddie needed it as much as I did. The babies actually slept through the night last night, too. Merry Christmas to me! :)

I am meeting up with some friends for lunch tomorrow, I'm looking forward to that. I also have a friend from high school who is in town (from Iowa) for the holidays, we're getting together later this week. We had breakfast with a bunch of our friends this morning. It's a somewhat unique group of friends - most of us grew up in the same neighborhood together. We have a lot of childhood memories in common and know many of the same people. It's really fun. They are like family to us and we love them so much! I love that this time of year allows so many opportunities to spend time with the special people in our lives.

Merry Christmas!

It was a great day - weekend, actually. I am so grateful for what we have been blessed with - amazing family and friends. It' s been nice to spend time with so many of them the last little bit.

Maddie has been so excited about Santa Claus this year, it's been a lot of fun. She was thrilled this morning! The babies had a lot of fun with the boxes and wrapping paper, they were even amused by some of the toys they received.

I hope everyone had a wonderful day!

Our Christmas Tradition

Each Christmas, starting with our first, we have purchased a Christmas book. We use the books as a sort of advent, this year is our our 9th Christmas since we were married and so we have 9 nights of books to read. Some are traditional Christmas stories like The Polar Express and The Night Before Christmas. Others are more religious in nature like When Jesus Was Born In Bethlehem and my favorite, The Last Straw.

Tonight Maddie chose The Last Straw as her bedtime story. I just love this book. I can't read it without getting emotional. I would love to be able to give this book to everyone who has made my journey a little easier this year. Since that is not possible, please take a minute to read this book if you ever come across it. I'm sure it will become a favorite for you, too!

The children were nestled all snug in their bed

This sentence baffles me as a new mom to more than one child, multiples even. When is it, exactly, that all three children will be nestled at the same time? The girls all share a room. This is problem number one. All of the tricks I tried with Maddie won't work with Cami and Brie because they will wake each other up. It's just a rough situation. When I ask other moms with twins, I have found very little comfort. "Mine were sleeping through the night around 15 mos." Oh, and then there's the lucky ones that had twins who slept through the night by the time they were 12 weeks old. What's the most frustrating is the fact that I know my girls can do it because they have. They just choose not to.

Right now, it's 10:25 p.m. Maddie went to bed at 8:00 and has actually stayed there tonight. Brie and Cami went down at 8:30, but Cami woke up at 9:45. I am watching her roll around on the living room floor as we speak. If I were to put her in her crib she would laugh at me. Literally -- it's happened before!

The good news is that I got a nap yesterday, even after getting a solid block of sleep on Saturday night. The babies slept from 10:30 p.m. to 6:00 a.m. and I went to bed at 11 that night. Sunday afternoon I told Aaron he was on baby duty and I was getting a nap. Maddie even took one with me. We slept for about 2 1/2 hours. It was great! Someone is looking out for my sanity. It was back to the every 3 hours on Sunday night. Of course!

I can't bribe the babies with the "nice or naughty list" like I can Maddie. There is hope though, it works for 4 year olds. I only have 3 years and 5 months to go. Who am I kidding?

Monster Maddie

My sweet girl has been possessed by a monster. We call her Monster Maddie. It started a couple of months ago, she had more nasty moments than pleasant ones for quite a while. I was at a loss. She is very aware that Monster Mommy is forced to come out of hiding when Monster Maddie is around. I don't know what happened, but about 3 weeks ago Monster Maddie started coming around less, and my happy sweet girl returned. To quote her: "Amn't I such a good girl?" (and yes, I've tried to teach her the correct grammar for that sentence and she just won't correct it). It's been such a relief! Sunday night, however, Monster Maddie returned with a vengence. She was sent to bed. Monster Maddie woke up Monday morning and stuck around most of the day. She had a royal fit on Monday night unlike anything I have ever seen. Wow. Tuesday was a little bit better. I could tell Monster Maddie was getting restless. This morning Maddie got up, cooperated and she didn't talk back. It was so nice! We make a HUGE deal about the positive behavior, of course! Tonight I told her it was so nice to see her being kind and sweet and happy. She said "I used my super powers to make Monster Maddie go away."

Whatever works!

My Grown Up Christmas List

This is all incredibly simple...yet seemingly unattainable! I just looked at it again, it's all free!

• A good solid night of sleep. Preferrably starting around 10:30 p.m. and ending...whenever I wake up!
• A nap that lasts for more than 10 minutes.
• A date night with my husband.
• All of the laundry done: washed, folded, put away!
• The kitchen: floor swept and mopped, dishes done, fridge cleaned out, everything in it's place.
• A nap.
• A day to myself to do whatever I please.
• A night out with some girlfriends.
• A nap.

I think that's about it. I really would take any one of the things listed above. I'm not terribly picky, and my priorities are right...I'm one sleep-deprived mommy!

Christmas time is here!

Saturday night I went to the Glenn Beck Christmas Show with my mom. It was one of the most incredible programs I have ever seen. He related several personal stories to different things associated with Christmas: family, shopping, gifts, snow, peace, etc. There was a lot of humor, a lot of reminiscing and some tears. I actually cried through a lot of the second half of the program.

He told a very touching story about the last Christmas before his mom committed suicide. He said that he was a stupid 12 year old kid and didn't know how poor his family was or how much they were struggling. He recalled going to the tree and finding one gift, it was a sweater. He said his mom kept asking him things like "Do you like it?" and "Does it fit?" He remembered her holding it up to him to see how it would fit, and could almost feel her hands on his shoulders. Two months after Christmas he was in his room and his mom came in to talk to me. She saw the sweater lying on the floor and said "Is that the sweater I gave you for Christmas?" It was then that he kind of realized what a gift that was. She searched for the most perfect gift she could give him with the last $20 she had.

He said that his mom never understood something, that we have the opportunity to find peace and ultimately, redemption. He used that as a way to lead into the true meaning of Christmas. It's not the birth of Christ, it's the gift that He has given us as our Savior and Redeemer. He talked about what it will be like to meet the Savior and how we will be accountable for what we have done with His gift. He mentioned the sweater again. He said that our lives are Christ's gift to us (and I'm paraphrasing this); "This was my gift to you, and what have you done with it?" He had so much emotion and passion in the message he was giving, it was very powerful. It really touched me and has given me some things to think about the last several days. The line that stuck with me the most was "Become the person you were meant to be and stop being the person you've allowed yourself to become."

Wow. It really was a great way to remind me of what the Christmas season is about, and I have thought so much about it the last few days. I also appreciated his willingness to share his story about his conversion to the LDS church. It was really neat to hear.

My Festival of Trees Experience

It's that time of year again. We got off to a great start with a visit to the Festival of Trees on Saturday. However, I wasn't prepared for getting hit with all of the emotions I've had this year. Each year we go I am reminded of several friends and loved ones that have passed away, but this year I had a few extra experiences to be mindful of.

One of the first trees we walked by was done to thank the NICU at Primary Children's Medical Center for the care they'd given an infant that was premature and is doing great. My heart was so thankful for the health of our twins, and I was reminded of the fabulous care we all received at PCMC. A few trees later was a tree that was done in memory of a premature infant that hadn't made it. My heart ached for that family and the families of the infants that struggle and fight to survive but don't pull through. I was also reminded of my friend who lost her daughter earlier this year, the baby had ancephaly. I just couldn't keep my composure.

A couple of rows down was a tree titled "Grandma's Angels." It was done in memory of an older woman who had passed away this year. My thoughts turned to my mother-in-law, she would just be thrilled to be here with her granddaughters. I am missing her so much right now.

The last tree that really triggered my emotions was dedicated to the staff and volunteers at PCMC. There was a television with a slide presentation set to the song "Angels Among Us." It had several pictures of the staff with words of appreciation that scrolled by. Our experience at Primary's was a positive one. I knew that our girls were going to be fine, they just needed a little jumpstart. I never had to worry about what the outcome would be. Everyone we dealt with was amazing! We had some extraordinary circumstances going on because Pam was so ill while our girls were there, and everyone was so incredibly supportive. It really was exceptional care.

I am so thankful for the knowledge of eternal families, and knowing that this life isn't the all there is. I am also thankful that while we will always miss those who have died before us, that the pain lessens over time.

I thought I would have free time!

I haven't found any yet!!! Life is still crazy, but it's great. I am so happy to be home with my girls. It's nice to be settled in one place instead of bouncing back and forth between the apartment and the house. I use the term "settled" loosely, the house is still not completely put together and we're in a little bit of chaos but we're working on it. I injured my back during the move and have not been able to move ahead at full speed like I want to. I finally got in to see my chiropractor today and I'm hopeful that I'll be on the mend soon.

Thanksgiving was our first big holiday without Pam. We started out with a visit to Aaron's grandma's house. The first thing everyone commented on was the absence of Pam's homemade rolls, they were replaced by Rhode's. We visited with the family for a bit and then headed to my grandparents' house. We didn't eat too much at either house because we ended the day with Aaron's brothers and sister-in-law at Mimi's Cafe. It was good to spend time with them, it's the first time we've all gotten together since July.

My heart was really full on Thanksgiving. I couldn't help but think of the major events this year. I was mostly focused on the babies, how fortunate we are to have them here and healthy. I also thought of the last several months of Pam's life and her passing. I have been missing her more lately and my heart aches for her sons' and granddaughters' grief. The other day Maddie asked me if we could buy a new Grandma Pam. She misses her so much. Her absence is noticed every day. I don't know where she picked it up but Maddie doesn't end a prayer without saying "Please help heal our hearts as we are missing Grandma Pam." Aaron is starting to really feel the loss of his mom and it is hard. The holidays really bring the emotions to the surface. I hope that they are healing in some ways.

Here's some pictures of my girls!

The girls on Thanksgiving day (from left to right: Cami, Maddie, Brie)


Brie and Cami, they lock arms or hold hands every time they're next to each other. It's so sweet!


Maddie and Aaron on their way to the Daddy-Daughter Princess Ball


Maddie helping me out while we were staying in Park City at the end of October

Stealing a minute

The last few weeks have been so busy! We were in a race to get the house cleared out, patched up and painted in time for the new carpet to be installed. We spent countless hours there, some of them more productive than others (blame this on my sweet baby girls that STILL aren't sleeping through the night). We made it though. New baseboards (thanks, Dad!), freshly painted walls, and new carpet throughout the house. My grandpa also did some minor demolition and restructure in the bathrooms, something I hadn't expected to happen until after we moved in. I'm so happy it was done before! The carpet was installed on Monday and Tuesday of this week. I am now frantically trying to pack up our apartment. Not an easy task with the girls around. I hadn't made great progress until today. I called my mom this morning and she was able to get away from work for the day. She spent a little over 5 hours here keeping the kids happy while I packed. I got through the pantry and the kitchen. We took a load out to the house and my sister came home with me so that I could get more done while she took care of the girls. I got through our computer desk and my walk-in closet. Tomorrow I'm taking Maddie to her great-grandma's house so that I can pack up her room and closet. It will be easier and less of a mess if I do it when she's not here.

That's about all that is going on at the moment. Soon we will be done with the house consuming our lives and we'll have other things to talk about.

Cami and Brie have started giggling. It's the cutest thing! One of the greatest joys in life comes from walking in to your baby's line of sight and getting the biggest grin - like nothing will ever make them happier than seeing you. I love it! They also chatter all day long, they love to hear themselves talk. Maddie sings and dances for them to get them to laugh, I'm not supposed to know that though!

Maddie is so much fun. She's a big help and great company most of the time. She's learning so much, too. She's been able to write her name for months and she's working on several other letters of the alphabet. She can recognize letters and is close to recognizing familiar words. I'm very proud of her!

The five of us all have a miserable fall cold. There should be a law against that. If everyone is going to be sick, moms should be immune. I am hoping it goes away quickly, we are headed up to Park City on Sunday for a few days away. It would be nice to have everyone healthy!

Still busy, what is normal?

Honestly, I keep wondering when life will get back to normal, but I still don't know what that is! The last several months have been filled with extraordinary events that won't happen all the time - thank heavens! Because all of this happened right when the twins were born, it will be interesting to see how we adjust to our new normal once we're done taking care of the current major project. We have spent the last 3 1/2 months going through all of MIL's belongings, sorting, tossing, donating, etc. We have finally finished that task and are now working on patching, painting, pulling carpet, and getting ready to move in. We have given notice for November 1st so I guess this will be happening soon. We have 9 days before the new carpet is going to be installed, there is still a good amount of work to be done in order to be ready for that, but we can do it. Mostly because my parents have been very helpful in making sure we get this done. I'm fairly certain that is because they are worried I will fall apart at any moment. This might be true, but I am too busy and sleep deprived to notice! The basement, where my BIL will be living, is finished, the new carpet is in and his room is painted. The carpet looks awesome! I'm very happy with what we selected. I can't wait to see what the rest of the house looks like when it's done.

Now for an update on my girls. They are all so wonderful! Maddie is so delightful, we really have fun together. Preschool has helped her define something of her own, which has directly affected her temper, she is doing so well! Cami and Brie are doing great. They had their 4 month check-up 2 weeks ago and they're growing beyond expectations. Their growth is right in line with where 4 month olds should be, without taking into account their prematurity. They are full of grins and starting to giggle, and occassionally they will see each other and coo and grin for several minutes. The little stinkers aren't sleeping very well at night, but I might be partly to blame for that. We are so busy during the day that I don't monitor their naps very well, and they are still sleeping quite a bit throughout the day. The pediatrician told me to keep their naps to 2 or 2 1/2 hours at a time, so I've been working on that a little bit. I have to admit it's been nice to have them sleep so much during the day when we've been busy at the house. I do need to get them on a loose schedule to see if that will help. I would like to sleep for more than 3 hours at a time, preferrably before they're 2!

Thanks to everyone that visits my blog! Sorry I'm not around to update more often. That might change once we get settled next month. I'll be back soon.

A few new pictures of my girls

A hot computer, grandma in town and a house to fix up

I won't be around for awhile. Ha! Like I'm here much anyways. Life is just too busy!

We are having problems with our laptop, the charger won't stay plugged in to the back of the computer without it being positioned just so. When it does stay plugged in for a long period of time, the computer and the cord heat up really hot. I finally called Best Buy today to check on our warranty and we'll be taking the computer in tomorrow. I don't know how long it will be gone.

My grandma is flying in from Phoenix on Monday, she'll be here for 2 weeks. It will be great to have some time with her, she hasn't seen the babies yet and we haven't seen her since Thanksgiving last year.

We are in the process of cleaning up MIL's house and getting it ready for us to move in. What a project! I always knew it would be a big job but I really had no idea. We have found a few treasures in the midst of a lot of, well, junk really. We picked out carpet earlier this week and we're taking a check by the store tomorrow so that they will order the carpet. They're installing the downstairs bedroom first, where my brother-in-law will be living, so we are doing this in baby steps. We do have quite a bit of work to do so that the carpet can be installed when it gets in on the 27th. We stopped by the county sanitation department yesterday to reserve a dumpster so that we can get rid of everything without having to make multiple trips to the dump. That will be at the house the 12th-17th of October. Needless to say, we'll be at the house a lot!

Ever After

One of Maddie's favorite things to do is cuddle up with us for a movie night. Last Friday Aaron was at work and it was just the girls at home. We went through our movies together and she picked Ever After. We put on our jammies, popped some popcorn and got under the covers in my bed. At one point during the movie, I was holding Brie and Maddie had Cami in the crook of her arm. That moment for me was so precious, and it seemed to foreshadow the mommy/daughter nights that are in store for us. How lucky am I to have three beautiful daughters to share simple pleasures with?

Celebrating life

I have never written about my mother-in-law's health problems on my blog. I think it was out of respect for her privacy, and to avoid her seeing my thoughts and feelings about what was going on. I don't know that she ever visited my blog, but there was always the possibility.

My mother-in-law was diagnosed with dermatomyositis in 2002. It's a rare degenerative skin and muscle disease. In 2003, she found out she had breast cancer. The dermatomyositis had masked the disease, a mastectomy was not an option for her. The cancer was in her lymphnodes as well, but seemed to be slow progressing. She's endured several different treatments and a lot of physical pain and suffering the last several years. In November of last year, Pam was having difficulty breathing and was hospitalized at the Huntsman Cancer Institute the week of Thanksgiving. The cancer had spread to her lungs. She began more aggressive treatment right away.

On December 2nd, the day we found out we were expecting twins, we went to her house to share the news. Pam had a tendency to not take care of herself like she should and Aaron decided to take advantage of the opportunity to tell her to listen to her doctors so that she could be around for the twins. The cancer in her lungs miraculously cleared up within a couple of months. Her health was not good though and we watched as more and more problems and complications popped up. I often wondered if she would make it to see the babies. She was determined to be here for there birth. She fought a good fight!

Pam was hospitalized for several days at a time on four separate occassions in the month of May. She was home when the babies were born, but was having a very difficult time getting around. She was unable to drive herself, and the twins were in the NICU. My first visit with the girls was Thursday afternoon, May 25th. We arranged for Pam to come up to the hospital with her mom that same afternoon. Pam was able to see Cami and Brie for about half an hour before her fatigue caught up to her. She didn't get up to the NICU again before she was hospitalized on Tuesday, May 30th. I had been home from the hospital 2 days and the babies were in the middle of their stay at the NICU. Fortunately the hospital that Pam was at was just minutes from where the girls were. We found out on Wednesday, May 31st, that she only had a short time left. The cancer had spread to several organs and she wasn't going to be able to pull out of it this time. Our hearts were so heavy.

The following days were hectic, finding sitters for Maddie so that I could spend several hours with the girls at the NICU while Aaron spent time with his mom. Pam was heavily medicated to ease her pain but that left her incoherent and a little loopy at times. She was fighting so hard to have the opportunity to hold the twins. We tried to coordinate a visit to the NICU, both hospitals were willing to accomodate that but Pam's health just wasn't good enough for it to happen. Cami and Brie seemed to be well enough to be released from the hospital but there were a few hiccups. We were hoping they could be discharged so that we could take them to see Pam. It seems that everything that Pam had gone through treatment wise the last 5 months of her life was to allow her to be here to see the babies. It's amazing how much that determination allowed her to triumph. Cami was finally discharged on Monday, June 5th, the same day that Pam was taken to her mom's house for hospice care. What a bittersweet day that was. Because of all the things we had to do at the NICU to take Cami home, we decided to wait until Tuesday morning to take Cami to see Pam.

Tuesday morning we took Cami to see her. She seemed to be coherent and was thrilled beyond words to be able to finally hold her. She showered Cami with kisses and sweet "grandma" adorations. My heart aches as I think about that encounter. It's the last time that I remember being with Pam. I thought at that moment of all the things that she would miss and all of the things my girls would miss out on with their grandma being gone. I do have to say that it was an incredibly sweet, spiritual moment, seeing two lives so fragile together like that. The promise of what lies in store for my sweet baby and the quiet peace that I saw in Pam as she was finishing up a life well lived.

Brie was finally strong enough to come home on June 8th. Aaron got a phone call that morning that his mom's breathing pattern had changed and he should get to the house as soon as possible. He headed to his grandma's while I made arrangements for Maddie so that I could get up to the NICU to pick up Brie. We were hopeful that Pam would hold on long enough to hold Brie. My mom came with me to the hospital. As I was pulling into the parking lot I got the phone call from Aaron that his mom had passed away.

The next several days are a bit of a blur. We were not only adjusting to having the twins at home, we were making funeral arrangements, tracking down estate documents, and grieving. Nothing in my life had prepared me for how to deal with all of it. We are so very blessed to be surrounded with a huge support network of family and friends. It made everything a little easier to swallow. We put one foot in front of the other and did what had to be done. In many ways, almost three months later, we are still doing this. I suppose that's how you get through many of life's events. I just hope that when I look back at this time that I will remember more than just going through the motions.